Best. Speech. Ever.

I may be biased. I mean, it’s me on this video. But I pretty much absolutely destroyed my Best Man’s speech at my brother’s wedding. Video proof has finally been given to me and is now yours for enjoyment. Be sure to pass it along!

 

Finding What You Want

Finding What You Want

Never settle. The trick to absolute happiness is to find what it is you are looking for in life and go after it. Sometimes people are confused, you don’t know what you want with your life or who is right for you or what the fuck to do. Everything gets screwed up because you’re constantly juggling decisions back and forth, second guessing yourself, and feeling as if you are always doing the wrong thing. That can be a very unnerving situation to be in. Unfortunately there is no right way to figure out what it is that will make you happy in life. A lot of times I second guess myself on everything. I try to say that I will live my life with no regrets but it takes a truly unique person to not think about things in the past and wonder “what if”.

What you have to do is lock onto the things that are good in your life and make you happy. And if you’re not sure you have any of those things, go out and find them. This relates to every aspect of life, work, family, and relationships. Life is very short, you can’t spend your days wondering what would have happened if I did this, or what if I don’t go to this party or take this job. All you can do is make decisions as they come. Obviously it’s a difficult thing to do but take your time, think things out, and point yourself in the direction that you think will make you the most happy. You only have one chance to make an impact on this world and you’re never going to do it if you don’t know what you want.

Dating wise it’s very simple, never settle for anything or anyone that doesn’t blow you away. There is a million people out there and odds are there is someone that will make you happy (hopefully). Or maybe there is even two, that’s what I call the hitting the lottery (Kidding). Honestly though, I have a problem with people who are stagnant in their relationships and are too afraid to let go and move on. If you’ve been with someone for a few years, yes obviously it will be scary moving on with out them and life won’t be exactly the same. But if you’re in a situation that isn’t making you happy all of the time, it’s time to move on.

You can’t settle for something that is magnificent and you shouldn’t have to. Like I said, life is short, you shouldn’t live your life anything but happy. It may be difficult to move on out of something that you don’t feel is right anymore, but by being honest, upfront, and understanding you can get to the place you want to be in your life easier then you think. There’s no need to stress yourself out over things you can not control. Things happen for a reason and I firmly believe that not only does everything happen for a reason but more often than not you will be better off because of it. Go out, drink to much, laugh too loud, and live life. You never know how long you have so make sure you make the most of it.

Avoiding Social Norms With Dating

Someone once asked me how old is too old when it comes to dating? I’m white is it ok for me to hookup with a black person? I mean seriously I feel like these were stigmas and problems of a past generation. It’s 2014. The time is now to be happy why should it matter how old or young a person is. Well young that’s definitely a legal question but regardless. My parents are 6 years apart. 6. that means when my dad was graduating high school my mom was in 6th grade. Yes that sounds terrible but it’s true. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to age. Now granted TOO big of a gap is a problem. If I’m a 23 year old girl I can’t be dating a guy twice my age. Or should I even really be dating a guy 35+. Now while society has it’s reasons for imprinting on us what they deem acceptable mine is a much simpler math.

I’m 28. I can’t date a woman who is 50. She is biologically undesirable. While I can have a ton of fun with a woman who is 50 realistically she’s old enough to be my mother, and may or may not be one of my friends parents. The point being that for long term happiness I do honestly believe a ten year gap is a maximum. I will definitely agree that society puts pressures on us to be thing, look a certain way, date a certain age, and it’s all well and good. Your happiness is the most important thing to me and should be to yourself. But be reasonable and realize the error in your judgement. If you’re a 21-25 year old girl and your boyfriend is 35-55 isn’t that not only a bit creepy but a bit genetically undesirable. If you’re ready to be married by 30 he’s going to be 40 or 60 by the time that comes around! While you have your whole life in front of you they’re on the back 9. That’s horrible I know but be realistic in your expectations of dating someone who is significantly older or younger.

There is no concrete mathematical formula for finding success in dating. Age is only a number and you truly are only as old as you feel. But if you’re expecting certain things out of life then it should be your number one mission to date someone of an appropriate age. Now I know you’re going to ignore me because a lot of times I ignore my own advice and don’t even do half the shit I preach. But be wise. Too big a gap really is only going to end badly for one or both of you.

Another thing that bothers me is the whole race card. Listen people it’s 20 fucking 10. Get over the stereotypes. Seriously. I’ve dated Black, Asian, American Indian, Latina, all the worlds got to offer and never once has a color of a girls skin stopped me from approaching them. It’s a non issue. Grow a pair of balls and buck society’s cookie cutter fucking impression of what a couple should be. Besides have you ever seen how cute a little Asian kid is? Come on who doesn’t want one of those?

Falling Hard and Falling Fast

Do you believe in love at first sight? Do you think there has to be that initial spark, or “it” factor when meeting someone for the first time? I certainly think there needs to be some sort of an instantaneous spark, or connection for me to feel like oh shit, this is someone I need to spend more time with. I totally believe in fate, things happen for a reason and people come in and out of your life for a reason. But I also believe it’s up to you to make sure you take advantage of these particular moments.

So what happens when you meet someone and you have all these feelings, and things just click? Do you tell the person you’re like super into them? No. Do you mention that you guys should go out very soon? No. Do you let them know that you had this awe inspiring moment where things seemed to click for you? Fuck no. So what are you supposed to do you might ask? Simple. First, play it cool. You can’t play on that you have felt this spark because you could very easily scare this person you just met away. Remember a relationship that goes from 0-60 goes from 60-0 just as quickly.

Personally, I feel falling hard and falling fast for someone sucks. And let me tell you why, the quicker I fall for someone, the quicker it fizzles out. It’s a tale as old as time. The longer it takes me to fall for someone, the longer our relationship lasts. It’s sad almost. I’d love it for a once if I meet a girl for us to just hit it off and continue on for longer than a month. One night stands are another story. But I just mean when you meet someone have that instant sexual chemistry and attraction, you wish it’d last a bit longer than it usually does.

Falling hard is rough. I feel that if you’re the one that falls first, and it’s hard. You’re almost certainly the one that’s going to end up with the broken heart. At the end of the day we all long for love at first sight. We all hope it exists, because without it, life seems a bit sadder than it should be. Fate plays funny tricks on you. You think you’re supposed to be with person X when you usually end up with person Y. Chemistry, sexual attraction, sparks, whatever you want to call it all play into something you think is true love or love at first sight. At the end of the day, just go with it. Life’s short so you might as well be spontaneous and just go with the flow. Carpe Diem bitches!

Attraction

What is attraction really? Is it your dick getting hard? Is it your nipples perking up? I mean honestly what is attraction? There have been countless books written and will be countless theories written about what attraction is so don’t expect to get a straight forward answer from me. Honestly what the hell do I know? Is it a number of random events that lead to love? Is it a seemingly meaningless connection that blossoms into something special? I mean honestly it’s probably all of these things and maybe none of them as well. The trick is to not fool yourself into thinking an initial attraction or spark is enough to propel a relationship into existence.

I’ve stated quite a few times that I believe in love at first sight. The problem is there is also LUST at first sight. Meaning wow that girl/guy is hot I need to hookup with them. This is different. Quite different from love at first sight. The problem is people often fool themselves into thinking that lust at first sight is more than what it actually is. You need to realize that the most common of events usually ends up being the outcome. Meaning if I meet a girl 9/10 times it’s going to be lust at first sight. But maybe, just maybe that one time, she’s going to be very special for me.

Look one thing you really have to figure out is that at times while you maybe attracted to a particular person, the feelings might not be mutual. This is not to discourage you but for you to realize that at times, you’re going to be attracted to someone, think you’re hitting it off, when it’s really not the case. Realize that these things happen and move on. If it’s not someone who’s going to be special in your life, move on. It won’t crush you I promise. 90% of the time you’ll end up doing better in the end anyway. I want you to take this post as a 100% positive. When you go out every night you have the opportunity to meet someone special. And for those of us in the dating world that is a very exciting prospect. So take the opportunities you have to live life to the fullest and meet some cool, new, interesting people.

Some Things to Think About

Serious question…What the hell is a man measured by? Is it the bullshit labels on his clothes? Is it the arrogant hood emblem on his car? The watch on his wrist? The friends that he keeps? If you wear a fucking monkey suit to work everyday does that make you a professional? Does that suit make you a professional in what you do? You wonder sometimes just what the fuck it is with life, what we as a people are constantly searching for each and every day. Is it a job? Is it a person? Is it a religion? A family? A group of friends? What the hell is the meaning of it all?

I wish I had a real fucking answer for you, I really do. If you think I did you must be crazier than I am and for the record I’m pretty damn nuts. The truth is that there is no right or wrong answer to the reasons why things happen in our life. There is no reason why if you go down road A your life leads you down path B. At the end of the day every decision we make, every breath we take impacts some other course of our life. It might not be today, it could be tomorrow. You just never fucking know.

There’s a couple things I’ve come across in life that at their core are what everyone is searching for. Family. I don’t mean just your genetic family of brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, etc. I’m talking about the group of people that make up who you are. Your closest friends, relatives, neighbors, whoever and whatever makes you who you are. They are your backbone. They are the ones who will be there for you when you least expect it. Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs to you at times and these are the people who will be there for you when the shit hits the fan.

Love. I’m not talking about a lover, I’m talking about love. Love for the people in your life. Love for the place you hold in theirs. True and unequivocal love. It’s not as easy to find as you would think. It’s difficult. It’s hard. If it were easy, we’d live in some utopian society that I’m sure as shit glad doesn’t exist. Love is for lack of a better word, what we’re all searching for. It keeps you warm at night and holds you tight when you least expect it. If it were something easily attained it wouldn’t be worth the journey.

Life is and always will be a struggle. Sure there are people who laugh their way through life. Step in shit and always seem to be on top of the world. And hey maybe they are. And good for them, I only wish to lead such a life. But as a famous quote once said, “life is not the amount of breaths you take, it’s the moments that take your breath away.” That is in it’s most simplistic form, what life is all about.

It’s not the clothes you wear, or the car you drive. It’s not how big your TV is or how many girls you’ve fucked. It’s the small things that make up an otherwise short existence. It’s the moments you think back on when it’s 3am and you can’t sleep. It’s the pictures on your fire place and the stories told in front of it. Life is and always will be a journey. And it’s about the ride. It’s about the ups and downs that make up the wonderful roller coaster of life. If it were easy, you wouldn’t appreciate the bullshit, tears, and heartaches it takes to gain true happiness.

I might not have all the answers and I promise that I will never pretend to. I’ve made my fair of mistakes and will continue to do so. One day it’ll all make sense. I’ve always said an awkward morning beats a boring night but the truth is, no night is boring. Take a moment to appreciate the little things. The things you wouldn’t appreciate until they’re gone. Take a moment to take it all in. Life’s short. But I guarantee you one thing, at the end of my time here, I’m going out with a big smile on my face. Ear to fucking ear. Cheers.